I want to change my name to Leon Marquez… I think I am going to start introducing myself as that…
Dear Ryan and Heather,
I am sorry. I know both of you got concerned. In the past few weeks I have gone where I said I wouldnt go back in 2010. I wanted to taste excess again, I wanted to be Vengeance. I wanted to walk into every room and command it and made sure everyone there knew my name. I wanted to find out what it is like to mix my immediate success with a never ending pool of fearlessness. I brought back the most dangerous part of me, not for necessity but for bragging rights.
Excess and Fearlessness are a powerful combination.
I dont ride around screaming for vengeance and embracing death. I dont have a love affair with lady death anymore and certainly my middle name is not Vengeance anymore.
I went to far.. I wanted to taste this power, this energy, this destructive force that made me so reckless for so long. I wanted to feel I could dominate every situation and I could always manage my way into heaven… I couldnt let go of the past.
I promise that I will fix everything that I broke and that moving forward I wont call out the most dangerous part that lives inside me.
With this, both of you can hold me accountable
Heather is right. I will find a way to stop this before it blows up. I know what I have to do. I have come too far to walk out empty handed. However, I am on a mission which I plan to see succeed…I don’t give up easily without putting a good fight